“My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman.”

Whining is anger through a small opening.

The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.

My mom sold real estate and did it part time.

Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.

It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.

I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.

There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.

I think when you are the parents of a gifted athlete, the best thing in the world you can do is to encourage them, in my opinion. My dad didn’t push me and I didn’t push my children in athletics.

[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.

My engineer dad is where my technical acumen comes from. I remember him taking me to the factories to see how what works.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy,

When I was around 7 or 8 my Dad took me to a B.B. King recording session, well, that really did it. Huge and lasting impressions.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

My mum and dad had worked incredibly hard to afford me an education.

My dad’s from there, and I have relatives there, but I don’t think I’ve been to Chicago since I was like 9.