“I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.”

Karaoke is the great equalizer.

When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.

Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.

I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.

Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.

I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.

I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.

When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.

I’ve just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.

I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.

I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.

I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.

Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.

I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.

I support civil unions, I always have. All right, the gay marriage thing, I don’t feel that strongly about it one way or the other.

One reason [of Andy Griffith Show popularity] is because of the formula. It had comedy, but it also had tender moments. The other reason is because it was therapeutic. It helped people relax and unwind.

We in the Western world make the great mistake of assuming that ours is the only form of good government; that democracy means what it means in the Anglo-American world and a few other places in the West, but not many others.

All vacations can come down to a few little moments – what do your remember when you’re alone, totally relaxed and taken out of yourself to appreciate this other world.

It was a good thing that she got herself into this other school. It showed her that there were other worlds beside the world she had been born into and that these other worlds were not unattainable.

You cannot strengthen one by weakening the other, and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the legs of a giant.

Why, oh why with so many other positions in baseball did I take up this one.’

You can get stale writing with each other for a while.