If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARAIf you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARAMy pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARAI got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
ADAM FERRARAI look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
ADAM FERRARAI love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARAWhat if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARAThe biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARAI am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARASex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARAMy favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
ADAM FERRARAI don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARAWhenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
ADAM FERRARAThe human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARAI know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARAI love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
ADAM FERRARAI woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARA