The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARAIf you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA