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For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

Adam Rex

[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. ‘It’s not a police car,’ I said. ‘It is,’ said J.Lo. ‘Looknow. Lights for flashing.’ ‘That’s true.’ ‘Writing on the sides.’ ‘Yeah, but the writing? It says ”BullShake Party Patrol.” Yes. Whatnow?
ADAM REX

Car Light Party Police Writing
I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn’t understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.
ADAM REX

Funny Keep Kid Nerd Outgoing Understand
I’ve been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda… I should be a video game.
ADAM REX

Game Girl Indian Punched Vampire
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
The Boov frowned. ‘Everybodies always is wanting to make a clone for to doing their work.
ADAM REX

Always Clone Doing Everybody Want Wanting Work
They can’t expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, ‘I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.’ What does that even mean?
ADAM REX

Anyone Elephant Expect Mean Say Shirt Zoo
Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
ADAM REX

Crazy Drug Extra Looking Sane Stiffened Thing
You can do terrible things when you don’t know who you are.
ADAM REX

Being Fashion Sad Terrible Yourself
There’s a little bit of magic in every box!
ADAM REX

Bit Boxe Little Magic
If you are not wanting to do your work, why would a clone of you want to do your work?
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
YOU have no room to laugh, that’s all. I’m not doing any worse with Boovish than you did with English.’
ADAM REX

Car Doing Laughing Room Worse
…Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.
ADAM REX

Almost Cheese Everything Inside Loss Weight
Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren’t.
ADAM REX

Cat Clean Itself Suddenly Want Way
What part of Canada are you from, honey?” “THE LEFT PART,” said Jay.
ADAM REX

Country Honey Left Part Said
We found the bathrooms, which were labeled ‘Aliens’ and ‘Femaliens.’ ‘Finally,’ I said to J.Lo. ‘Here’s a bathroom you’re allowed to use.
ADAM REX

Alien Bathroom Female Labeled Use
There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur

For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

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For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

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Popular Authors

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