There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARAYou can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA