The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARAWhenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
ADAM FERRARA -
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA