I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARAThe human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA