“Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.”

Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana – if it’s prescribed by a physician.

You are what you are when nobody is looking.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Some People are more turned on by money than they are by love. In one respect they’re alike. They’re both wonderful as long as they last.

Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.

In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.

Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

Kissing power is stronger than will power.

How should they answer?

Kids grow up awfully fast these days,”she said. “You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from ‘Dear Abby’ instead of going to Mom and Dad.

I’m taking a vow not to advise.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.

The West would be well advised to change its approach towards failing states. At present, no major power can find the correct ways and means – and the numbers of failing states are increasing.

Law without penalty is only advise.

They first condemn that first advised the ill.

Your career, interests and relationships are important, but they are only important insofar as they lead you toward a deeper understanding of yourself. Otherwise, they are irrelevant.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.