If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
TIM ALLENNever comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN