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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’

Bill Maher

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
BILL MAHER

Children Date Different Myself Ritual
I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
BILL MAHER

Ancient Atheist Man Myth Religion Story Thinking
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER

Himself Missing Money Negotiation Yourself
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
BILL MAHER

Black People Politics See Stage
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER

Answer Food Health Sick
Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER

Love Place War Yourself
If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
BILL MAHER

Enterprise Religious Rich Sales Start Yourself
If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
BILL MAHER

Best Music Technology Yourself
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER

Myself Political Sensitive Truth
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHER

Advantage Atheist Time Yourself
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
BILL MAHER

Capital Greatness Kill Punishment Work Yourself
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER

Better Complain Man Start Taste Woman
God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER

God Life Misery Myself Pain Talk Terrible
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHER

Average Goodness Need People Society Yourself

The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’

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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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