“I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.”

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.

I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.

I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.

A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.

All of us talk faster than we listen.

My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.

I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

I’ll eat anything. I love food in general. I love traditional Mexican, carne asada. Just meat, beans, rice, and some good salsa.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

I was much more upset by the situation with Jacob than by the possibility of being eaten by a bear.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I think there’s nothing wrong with eating all the time. At least i’m not doing anything illegal.

I want to keep fighting because it’s the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.