I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
TIM ALLENBut separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN