The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLENJill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
More Tim Allen Quotes
-
-
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN -
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
TIM ALLEN -
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLEN -
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN -
Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLEN -
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
TIM ALLEN -
Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN -
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN -
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
TIM ALLEN -
My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
TIM ALLEN -
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN -
Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN -
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLEN -
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN -
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN






