Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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