I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
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There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
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Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
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It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
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Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
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I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
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I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
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If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
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I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
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Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
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Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
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Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
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Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
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The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD