“With the amount of money I have, it’s difficult raising children the way I was raised.”

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I’ve always just had troubles with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

In one day, I have times where I’m feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I’m the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

You’ve just got to give yourself time – that’s good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I’m so happy I did a nice thing.

My personal position is that society must keep children safe.

The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman’s life, to her well-being and dignity.

While children are struggling to be unique, the world around them is trying all means to make them look like everybody else.

A scientist in his laboratory is not a mere technician: he is also a child confronting natural phenomena that impress him as though they were fairy tales.

All my life through, the new sights of nature made me rejoice like a child.

Many families are struggling, at least there will be direct payments for every working class adult and their children, and an extension of unemployment benefits.

I wanted to convey the message to children that this life is worth living.

If my books can help children become readers then I feel I have accomplished something important.