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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

Lily Tomlin

Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLIN

Name Top Yourself
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN

Life Myself Reality Small Style
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin
There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Inspirational Motivational Perspective Soft Try
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
LILY TOMLIN

Consumption Life Live People Style

People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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