Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLINWe have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN