Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
LILY TOMLINBeing a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN