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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

Lily Tomlin

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Hands Ladder Road Success
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Human Invention Language
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN

Career Important Myself Regret
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLIN

Name Top Yourself
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Life Myself Pervert Thinking
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
LILY TOMLIN

Alone Feeling Heart Mindset Myself Night
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy

Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

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