Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDThere are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD