There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDThere are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t have any ambition.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
NORM MACDONALD