Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTINThe conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTIN






