The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTINThere is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTIN






