I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTINI have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
STEVE MARTIN