“Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.”

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

A girl’s best friend is her mutter.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.

There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius

It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but that you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power of stimulating it.

Skill is fine, and genius is splendid, but the right contacts are more valuable than either.

Passion is the genesis of genius.