Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECKGrandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Children make your life important.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK