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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

Dorothy Parker

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appreciate Audience Goodness Intelligence Myself Praise Talk
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Funny Life Myself Oneself Sex Story
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER

Goodness Money Myself Togetherness Writing
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER

Distance Hell Simplicity Sports Truth Word
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Food Growth Taste
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

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