“Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.”

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

But I don’t give up; I forget why not.

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

A girl’s best friend is her mutter.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.

Time is the friend of the wonderful company, the enemy of the mediocre.

Never lie to people, because the people you are able to lie to, are the people who trust you.

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.