Women and elephants never forget.
DOROTHY PARKERThe only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER