Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECKMy theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Children make your life important.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK