No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECKThere’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK