Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK -
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK -
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Children make your life important.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK







