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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Erma Bombeck

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Food Funny Planning Politics Religion
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECK

Husband Marriage Myself Vacation. Children
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Courage Funny Inspirational Moments Parents White
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Ideas Light Myself Yourself
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Result Stop Work
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK

Live Play Religious See Travel Understand Yourself
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clean Experience Food Funny God Oneself Religious
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK

Kindess Night Oneself Parents Price
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK

Happiness Hurt Laughter Pain Tragedy
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Evening Failure Feeling Goodness Misery Sun

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

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Popular Authors

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