As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECKI remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK