“How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?”

Every puppy should have a boy.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

They talked us into buying candy bars and throwing the candy away and eating the wrapper.

Republicans didn’t care about the deficit when it came to tax breaks for billionaires. We cannot buy into their rhetoric about the deficit now.

People in general are scared to death of the war and all the exhibition have been a failure, because the rich – don’t want to buy anything.

You can’t buy happiness.

Small changes, such as thrifting instead of buying new, supporting sustainable brands, and air-drying your clothes, can make a huge difference.

Buy a stock, if it goes up, sell it, if it goes down, don’t buy it.

Money can’t buy everything, but it can buy most of it. Because of money, I could give my parents a comfortable life.

I used to have this little mouse. I buy birds from the pet store and I let them go.