Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECKMy idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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Children make your life important.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK