As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECKSuccess is outliving your failures.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK