I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECKSuccess is outliving your failures.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK