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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.

Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Fun Herself Mom Relationship Yourself
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Encouragement Independence Lose
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECK

Humor Planning Surprise Wonderful
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Courage Funny Inspirational Moments Parents White
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK

Civilization Humor Loss
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Clean Funny Home Mom
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Judgement Mom Understand
I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECK

Alive Existence Feeling Laughter Life Listen Myself Place Remember See Thinking Voice
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK

Kindess Night Oneself Parents Price
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Endurance Family Friendship Funny Garden Place

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.

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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.

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