Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECKCats invented self-esteem.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Children make your life important.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK







