Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECKCats invented self-esteem.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK