“The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.”

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: More than just a great place to die.

Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.

Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

I listen to oldies but goodies stations, ’60s and ’70s music.

I don’t have joy in watching myself, whereas, actually, I quite like listening to my own music.

He listens to his trainer real good. He just doesn’t listen to me. I still can’t get him to do nothing.

Hear what the artists hear, and listen to the music the way they should, the way I do.

I listen to a lot of the people that use Auto-tune.

When I rap, it’s just an extension of how I speak, and that’s how I talk. If you don’t like it, don’t listen.

There is an element of mystique to radio, and I often listen to cricket commentary on radio, especially when one is stuck in a traffic jam.

I’m not a fan of anybody music who I feel like a sucka. I don’t listen to you. They play you in the club, you can have the #1 jam, but if I know your character, how can I listen to your music?