Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
JOAN RIVERSI succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.
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Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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Better laid than never.
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Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
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The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.
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I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
JOAN RIVERS






