“Pitching always beats batting – and vice-versa.”

The only color I don’t have is navy brown.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light.

I didn’t know much about golf growing up.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

What difference does the uniform make? You don’t hit with it.

I guess the first thing I should do is thank everybody who made this day necessary.

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

Losing is a learning experience. It teaches you humility. It teaches you to work harder. It’s also a powerful motivator.

There are some people who, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ’em.

80 percent of the balls that don’t reach the hole, don’t go in.

I guess I’ve got a smart wife.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.