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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

Tina Fey

My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
TINA FEY

Book Dominate Mad Male People Practical Tip Woman Workplace
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
TINA FEY

Audience Cress Down Funny Humor Lady Laugh Like Man Men Old Push Start
I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
TINA FEY

Amount Conflict Fight Fighting Like Passion Same Thing Think Thinking Tremendous
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
TINA FEY

Designer Fashion Tell Wear Wise
Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
TINA FEY

Part Problem Solutions Whatever
When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEY

Dress Dresses Fifty Hey Know Life Look Mirror Rehearsal Thought Turn
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
TINA FEY

Bad Ecveryonbe Feel Fraud Realize Trying
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEY

Control Course Life Productive Saturday Sometimes Want Witty
I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.
TINA FEY

Affinity Animal Cute Dog Hurt never
Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
TINA FEY

Answer Difficult Itself Present Sometimes Stail
I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’
TINA FEY

Accept Country Live Part Pick Think
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.
TINA FEY

Arrogant Conclude Good Impressively Move Moving Witty Write
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY

Adorable Baby Blame Creature Fart Humor
North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
TINA FEY

Absolute Act Country Interview Intolerable Refer Terror Wanton
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
TINA FEY

Biscuit Born Cheddar Doe Food Liars Like Lobster Red Women

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

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