I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEYWhy are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
More Tina Fey Quotes
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A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
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Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea.
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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
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Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
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In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable.
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I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
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Life is improvisation.
TINA FEY