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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Tina Fey

My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
TINA FEY

Adjective Blorfit Excite Little Mean Mostly Stress Witty
A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
TINA FEY

Ask Christmas Clinical Each Feign Husband Read Some Study Talk Taught Tree
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

According Cardiovascular Develop Disease Funny Marriage Less Lonely Marriage Satisfying Study Women Worry
I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
TINA FEY

Agreement Baby Back Contract Nbc Verbal Work
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
TINA FEY

Designer Fashion Tell Wear Wise
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
TINA FEY

Bad Ecveryonbe Feel Fraud Realize Trying
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEY

Funny Inspirational Impossible Strong Think Witty Woman
‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEY

Accusatory All Ask Constant Dream Eye Job Juggle Look Mother People
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY

Again Crack Funny Inspirational Joke Like Math Struggle
Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
TINA FEY

Part Problem Solutions Whatever
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY

Bomb Dog Feel Late Order Purchase Safer Sniff Too
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY

Consider Inexperience Job Politics Prostitution Uinexperience Virtue
You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
TINA FEY

Humor Inspiring Parenting Problem Solution
If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
TINA FEY

Call Feel Good Internet Yourself

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

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Popular Authors

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