I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEYJust say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
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You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
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According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone “come out” to you is the “pretending to be surprised” part.
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
TINA FEY