If he were on fire, he couldn’t act as if he were burning. He can’t out-act me on the big screen.
SHAQUILLE O'NEALStats don’t matter. I care about winning, not stats. If I score 0 points and we win I’m happy. If I score 50, 60 points, break the records, and we lose.
More Shaquille O'Neal Quotes
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There’s no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem.
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Being that I’m a tropical black man I don’t get to see much snow. When I see snow I go crazy. That’s why they call me Sasquatch. There’s no Sasquatch found in the snow so I had to go back to my Sasquatchian roots.
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I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn’t want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.
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It’s sort of like in the movie The Karate Kid when Daniel said he needed Mr. Miyagi. And Mr. Miyagi gave him that confidence to believe he really didn’t. These guys think they really need me right now, but they don’t.
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Tell Yao Ming, ‘Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’
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There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.
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Get away from my house. What do you want?
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Pluto is not a planet, but I am.
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We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.
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If I were a painter, you’d be calling me Shaqcasso.
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I endorse only products I actually use. Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it. Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away. Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat. Apple Shaqs. Yeah.
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I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don’t remember what I said last night.
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He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.
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He’s a jokester, and that’s funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.
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If you don’t stick to simplicity, you’ll die a horrible death.
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