Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITEHere’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
More Ron White Quotes
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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