You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITEI have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
More Ron White Quotes
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE






