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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.

Ron White

There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Angel Attack Comedy Concert Idea Leave Punch Some
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE

Mic Milker More Night Open
I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
RON WHITE

Always Best Done Happen Little One Pony Stuff Trick
My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE

Beem Ever Good More Show Storytelling
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITE

Dry Eight Horrible Line More Move Paint Role Threym Day Watch
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE

Diamond Minute Shut
I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
RON WHITE

Back Brave Consider Honor However Inctredinly Many Men Privilege Sacrifice Women
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITE

Comedy Great No Overhead
There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
RON WHITE

Act Backlog Exist Fire People Reason
You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITE

Fix Stupid

I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.

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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.

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Popular Authors

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