If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
RON WHITEI write all of my material. It’s all me.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE






