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I write all of my material. It’s all me.

Ron White

All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
RON WHITE

Besides Comedy Funny Know Lake Mind Spit
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Always Go Live Look Music Out Show
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE

City Go Through Yera
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

Between Brain Colander Cross Leak Slow
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITE

Anybody Anything Could Literacy Penetrate Say Skin
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE

Audience Definite Funny Guilt Kill Later Something Them Think Try
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITE

Comedy Great No Overhead
I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
RON WHITE

Feel Get Today Tomorrow Worry
You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITE

Fix Stupid
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

Big Good Part Rather Really
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
RON WHITE

Animate Bring Force Instead People Relax Stage Tend Thing
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year

I write all of my material. It’s all me.

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I write all of my material. It’s all me.

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