I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITEI write all of my material. It’s all me.
More Ron White Quotes
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE